Friday, March 5, 2010
Trying to fix up myself..Jus coz i PROMISED !!
HE: Promise me that you'll forget me n you'll move on..n u will not call, sms, mail me!
ME: I cant! I jus cant move on without you!
HE: No, promise me that u'll move on in life..
ME: okay,i'll try..I PROMISE!
This 7letter word PROMISE means soo much to me just because it is given to him, someone really really special in my life!
As we say ..
"Trying To Forget Someone You've Loved
Is Like Trying To Remember Someone You've Never Met"
So forgetting you is just NOT POSSIBLE!! I wont mention IMPOSSIBLE here.. coz somebody once told me that impossible says "I M POSSIBLE"
N this one is jus NOT POSSIBLE!!!!
i don't want people feeling bad for me anymore,
i don't want their fucking pity..
i'm just so sick of pretending,
I know my smiles are jus not real anymore!!
i'm going to find a way to convince you that i'm doing just FINE without you, thank you very much..even if it's not the truth !!
i'm gonna learn how to be happy. even if smiles and laughs are fake !!
Yes! I'll always be proud of myself for just this ONE DAMN THING in my life that i love a person who is as "PURE" as "GANGS" n as "TRUE" as "GOD"!
N ya he loved me too :) ..thats jus a single thing which delights this one life that i still have with me :)
The days i spent with you was probably the best period out of my entire life... not jus coz they were good,nice,beautiful,memorable but coz now i know how it feels to be a PRINCESS !! The feeling is amazing trust me!
You honestly made my life so much easier.. so much loving, it was like a complete fairy tail but i just can't bring myself to HOLD ON TO IT.. fuck!!
Would never be able to define the NIGHT CHAT SESSIONS .. coz i lack words to define them! they were jus soo beautiful..jus like you sitting besides me..loving me..caring..naratting me stories..yes! they are the most most most precious moments out of all the best that i had with you!
Girls at the age of 3 when listen to fairy tales start dreaming n waiting for their PRINCE CHARMING but not every girl gets to meet him! :)
N girl like me totally completely lost in her own thoughts .. ignores him when he enters her world..
Result: he doesn't wait for you .. yes! he is gone :( ... not there anymore!
I know i lost someone really really important in my life, and i don't know wether i would ever be able to make it up to, i don't know wether i should continue my act of 'i don't give a damn' or should actually walk after them..
i think ever since i stopped caring for you , it's hard for me to start for anybody else now..
N now when you are not there with me therez no doubt that with this, i've found out who my real friends are and who aren't. that lefts me with practically no one, but i'm okay with it. i'm used to being alone, and i'm pretty good at it, or may be TRYING TO!
I want to feel like im standing on my own two feet in this one. i've always felt like no one has my back, and its true. fuck, I can't do this one on my own, and i'm scared... I JUS CANT !! i need you.. i need you now... I need you more then ever... but i doubt you care. if you can go this long without even acknowledging the fact that i exist, then maybe it really is over !!
I don't know if m happy for you or sad for me but my cheeks hurt from fake smiling so much now still 'm trying to pretend i'm happy and i don't need anyone at all to complete me anymore! knowing the fact that M INCOMPLETE WITHOUT YOU, knowing the fact that m sad, damn sad realizing that its all over, n i lost my GENIE forever!
"I really hate going on rooftops, or walking on the edge of things. because whenever i look down, i always have the urge to just.... jump." n meeting u there where nobody can stop me .. not even you!
"The past days swiftly came, i kept dreaming of you..
the sun is gone, the nights are long, and i am left while the tears fall "
Gosshh ... jus can't stop missing you! just cant stop dreaming bout those days when u were mine, only mine!
I haven't really been the same since you left and it hurts me deeply..
you will never be able to understand what it feels like to be this empty and carry a heart so heavy..
but, fuck it ..i'm done waiting for you. i know i deserve to be happy. N not me, its you, who lost me!!
but what hurts the most is knowing that everything i just said is a complete LIE!
Yes "I LOST YOU" :( :(
Do you know what it feels like being alone?
Yes! u'll find someone new!
You say i am the STRONGEST GIRL u have ever seen! but
"just because she comes off strong,
doesn't mean she didnt fall asleep crying..
even though she acts like nothing is wrong,
may be she's just really good at lying"
I always believed in the fact that
"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, even months analyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces together. Justifying what could've, should've, would've happened. Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on"
but now when it actually is the time to folllow it, m not able to ..leaving myself with a big " WHY?" ... i'm trying to hang on here. i don't know who i'm hanging on for, but i am.. Yes i am!
P.S : What peaceful hours I enjoy'd ....how sweet their memory still..
but they have left an aching void,,,the world can never ever fill !!
how i wish i could press 'rewind' ??
Still jus yours
who now can never say i m possible!